Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
