So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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