Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
