She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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