Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
