Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
