do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
