I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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