holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
