Define "chronic" masturbator.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize