There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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