what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
