you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
