What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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