Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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