I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
