He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you had me at cake vodka
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
