There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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