singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Randomize
