Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
