I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
