Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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