video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
