Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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