Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
