You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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