Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
