I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
