And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
