I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
