Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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