Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
