ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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