i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
oh god the rape fog is back!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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