We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
