is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you had me at cake vodka
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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