Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
