Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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