Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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