I'm gonna have a badass scar
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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