We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
