new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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