She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
