Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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