none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
