pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
kristin has been a bad kristin
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
