i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
