hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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