Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
