pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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