Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
